Flutterby Haven News

Wait What? It's Almost August

Saturday, July 26, 2014

It occurred to me that I haven't updated here recently. I'm still alive and kicking just not too much to report. Well, that's not entirely true. Last time I updated I was in San Marcos, TX and had just celebrated my 39th birthday.

Much has changed.

I'm currently in Maryland, where I've been since the end of May. Staying, once again, on the property of some very generous friends. I never saw the rest of Scarborough Faire after allowing myself to be fired from sales because it wouldn't cause the owners of the business any stress. Although they still wanted me in the production process doing piece work. Yeah, if that sounds weird to you, imagine how it sounded to me. I was fairly offended and then things turned ugly. Ugly enough that it caused me another trip to the emergency room due to anxiety and stress. The odd thing in all of it was that I was there to help some folks I deeply cared about and instead was thrown into managing a business while dealing with failing equipment, their financial/personal/ legal problems, a tense house where people yell at each other and their animals a lot - all of this leads to a stressful living situation. I choose to live in a van to avoid this sort of drama. If I had the ability to deal with all of that I could have just gotten and apartment and a 9 - 5 job. I just can't deal with that sort of stress anymore. I could have managed the business if I didn't have to  deal with the other stressors while also being told they really can't afford to pay me and changing my job description in the middle of a job arbitrarily by expecting me to do piece work that I generally could bank a lot of extra pay on just because business is slow (which it generally wasn't) and they won't have to pay out the piece work. You also can't be a business owner and choose to not hear the concerns of your employees just because the subject matter makes you uncomfortable. I began to feel taken advantage of, which causes resentment. As far as I knew when I signed up for the gig I was going to be a sales person and doing some production, not managing entire festivals on a salary that wasn't equal to the work and definitely not working 16 straight weekends with no break especially given how miserable the weather was the first 8 weeks.

I left Texas stressed to the same point I was when I lost my house - not sleeping, not eating, physically and emotionally drained dry to the point of not even being able to drive to get myself back to the East coast. Hence the trip to the emergency room. They pumped me full of fluids, prescribed some Ativan and I was lucky enough to be able to crash at a local vanner's house for a few days to recover enough to drive back to MD.  Gods bless the vanners! Not only did I get to recover but some fixes The Inn desperately needed happened and I was able to safely make it back to my home state.

Once again, I spent months and months in Texas and didn't get to see anything of quality to me because there simply just wasn't time for Randy and I to do so. This is not the life I signed up for when I decided to live in the van.

Life is mucho better now. The weather in MD has been gorgeous and not at all like summer. The heat and humidity we usually experience this time of year has been minimal. I've only had to use the A/C a handful of days.

I've not accomplished much of what I wanted to do as far as creative projects due in part to some laziness and in part to space constraints. I have gotten to see a lot of my long time friends and my best female friend is now just a slight drive away. Hopefully, my drive to create will return soon.

I've secured summer work once again with a vendor at the Maryland Renaissance Festival which begins in just a few weeks. At a pay rate equal to what I was making as a "manager" of the other business. Sadly, I'm not camping on the grounds this year which is making transportation a bit of an issue but I'm sure that will work itself out. Also sadly, The Rogues were not hired on for this season so in a way I'm glad I'm not camping there as I would probably be fairly lonely without Randy's company. I'm definitely looking forward to the work, maybe learning a new skill and meeting a bunch of new folks.

The kitties are all doing well. Unfortunately I walked Dandy several times here and ended up with a bit of a flea issue but I think we've finally got that under control.

I've cut my hair short again and donated to Locks of Love (because they're the only ones who would take color treated hair). The short 'do has been much more comfortable and easier to manage then my long hair was. I was at a point with the long hair that I never bothered to wear it down anymore so really, what was the point of having it? I think I'll be much more comfy at faire when the heat of summer finally kicks in (which I know it will)

I still work for The Rogues as their website manager and the band is doing well with gigs across Ohio, Texas and Washington state. Hopefully, they'll be able to come back to the East coast next season and hopefully, after this summer, I'll be able to go back on the road with them in Texas come the Spring when other living area becomes available. That's the plan for now anyhow. With any luck my summer job will allow me the finances to relocate before winter is in full swing as I'm not so sure I actually want to do a full winter in MD, though this past winter in TX proved to me that I can survive in the Inn in temperatures that are consistently below freezing (as long as I have power to run an electric heater).

I'm still learning to hoop and have gotten much better now that I purchased polypro hoops. Tricks are so much easier though I still lack a "dancy" quality to my flow. I cut down my hoop collection by giving away hoops that I don't really play with anymore to new hoopers who will get more use out of them.

I've also gotten to spend a lot of time around a toddler. He's a great kid and I'm rather proud of the fact that I've managed to be a babysitter for short periods of time without a complete meltdown on either his or my end. That's truly a feat for someone who has never spent any amount of time around any child - ever. We read a lot of books. Well okay, he points and I read a lot of books. I'm now fully versed in construction equipment and vehicles

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